Here I am looking once more at what I wrote six months ago and again I am wondering why I haven’t been posting as much as I did in the beginning. No reasons really. It appears to be easier to not write when you forget to do it for a day or two. In the beginning, my goal was to post every day except Sunday. I did really well for a while then, it waned. I have decided to start the New Year with the hope of posting at least once a week.
When I posted yesterday and the day before, the reality of not blogging in over a month hit me square in the face! I knew that I had been extremely busy but I didn’t realize that it had been so long. I could offer excuses but what good would that do? So, here I am one year later, still trying to finish sharing my journals about the journey of death and dying. As I think about this I feel rather torn. Do I finish what I started or do I move on? After much debate with myself, (quietly, not out loud, so I really can’t be crazy, right?) I have come to the conclusion that it must be finished. The emotions and struggles of dealing with the death of my sister need to be shared if for no other reason than to bring closure for me. The reason I started this blog in the first place was to be able to help me with this journey of death and dying that was forced upon me. By forced, I mean that I really did not have a choice in the matter. Well, I suppose I could have just stayed home rather than going to be with my sister in the end, but for me that was NOT an option. One year later, I still have the same questions. Why do we not discuss death? Why is it something that is typically considered to be hush-hush? Why we are afraid to talk about the end of life and what happens to a person as they reach the end? Is it the fear of the unknown? Are we ashamed of the emotions we might feel and the tears we might shed? There are probably as many answers to these questions as there are people who read them. If I were to guess I would say that maybe it is related to our own life stories. What we have experienced in life influences how we perceive life and life circumstances. With all of this being said I shall forge ahead and continue sharing my journal pages of the last year. Maybe it will help someone else in their journey.
Tomorrow we will be back on the road again. Hope you decide to join me.