It is the day after Christmas and sadness overcomes me as I am thinking about my sister. It is not the deep down sadness I felt when she died but a different type of sadness. Today I am thinking of all the things we cannot do together. This would have been a Christmas I could have spent with her had she still been alive because we now live so much closer to where she used to live. The holidays were always fun when she was there whether it was at Mom and Dad’s, my house, or her house. We would sing Christmas carols, make cookies, decorate the tree, cook and even have fun as we were washing the dishes. We always had some sort of a “project” to do whether it was working a puzzle, making decorations for the tree, or decorating cookies and of course, there was always Christmas music playing in the background.
One of the things that my sister gave me before her death was the Dickens Christmas Village she had been collecting over the years. Last Christmas I put the houses on the shelf, but I just couldn’t bring myself to really make it look nice. It was just there. This year when I put it up I made the conscience effort to not only set out the houses but to display it in an artistic way. As I worked I thought about Carol and how she would be so pleased with what I was doing. Each time I opened another box with the “extra” things, I lovingly placed each piece in the village and made sure everything was just so. Now, after it is up, I sit back and stare at it and think about my sister. It brings me comfort and a smile.
Sometimes it is the little things which help you feel better.