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Some have questioned the name of this blog. It was a struggle to decide on a name, there were several ideas tossed around for several weeks. The Elephant in the Room just kept coming back to my mind because talking about death is rather like having an elephant in the room. In a discussion with the Nephew one day about a good name for this blog “The Elephant in the Room” was mentioned. He suggested adding “dead” to it because the blog is about death and how we deal with it. Hence the name. It will not be changed. It is what it is.

6/08/11

Each of us face death in different ways. Some of us choose to ignore it and hope it will go away. We push it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. Some of us choose to quietly face it and forge on with no tears or regrets. We know it will happen or has happened but we don’t want to let it show to others or to let it get the better of us. Others of us face it head on and cry out in anguish and despair. We want to talk about it and want everyone to know that it has happened, not so they will feel sorry for us but because it helps us feel better. Many don’t want to hear you talk about it. Some do. Dealing with death is much like grieving because they go hand in hand. It is quite difficult to separate the two. They are not the same yet they are the same. Each of us handles it differently.  There seems to be no right or wrong way to deal with death and dying, just different ways.

For some death causes us to look at our lives, to reassess and to think about those things that are truly important to us. It gives us a new perspective on all situations that happen around us. The world is more beautiful. Our families are more important to us. Friends become more like our family. Others choose to ignore it. Others choose to be angry. None of them is right and none of them is wrong. I tend to fall into the “reassess my life and things that are truly important to me” category. My family and my friends, these are the two things in this world that matter the most to me. Without family and friends who am I? What am I? Just another person going through the motions? Family and friends are the spice of our life. They give us new flavors – viewpoints and ideas. We don’t always agree with them but they are interesting and make life exciting. Our families and friends give us roots to our past and wings to our future. Unfortunately, we tend to take our family and friends for granted. We think “I’ll call them later” or “I’ll go by and visit then later” and then later never happens. Death cause us, or maybe just me, to think about those people whom I haven’t seen or talked to in a long while and wonder how and what they are doing. That phone call or email isn’t always sent but the thought is there and the hope that it will happen is there. Death gives me a new perspective on life. The world looks different to me.  Colors are more vibrant, sounds more interesting, animals more beautiful, at least for a moment, then, suddenly colors look bleak, sounds are annoying, animals are just animals and life seems pointless. Bouncing back and forth between the positive and the negative seems to the norm at the moment.  Maybe it will get better.

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